I sit my temple down in my room. 

Monster says, "You have things to do". 

I say, "Yes, we are sitting down".

As if I am detangling from my old self, I start brushing my hair. Some of the knots are tough.

Moster says, "Give up".

I say, "I won't".

Patient, kind, determined as I brush my hair, I am stepping into the light. I am in no rush, taking my time as I feel every knot.

Moster says, "You are slow".

I say, "I have eternity".

My right hand takes a strand of hair from my crown as my left-hand reaches the bottle of infinity - the elixir of the hair. I take a drop from the elixir as if I am holding the hand of the soul who gave water to Tulsi, Brahmi, Bhringaraj everyday at sunrise; I feel the texture of their wrinkly hands. Grateful, honoured, I let my hair shake their hands as I massage every strand of hair on my crown.

Monster says, "You are not worthy".

I say, "I am".

I bring my hands to my face to smell. With an explosion of love, Rosemary says, "Hi." In shock, I say, "Where have you been?" Rosemary says, "I am right here, my dear. I have always been. On the driveway, on the sidewalk, watching you, loving you all along.

Monster says, "You are not loved".

I say, "I am".

As I massage my scalp, my fingertips travel to a distant land at light speed. I see myself - knees on Earth, hands in the mud, reaching the root of the Burdock, the root of the He Shou Wu, the root of me.

Awakening to true beauty, Earth on my crown, I twist my hair into a bun and roll on my side in silence, in peace.

Defeated, tired, powerless monster falls asleep. 

Nobody's child, a tree without roots, I am FREE.

It's my choice to follow the monster into a sea of darkness.

It's my choice to follow Rosemary, Brahmi, Tulsi into an infinite beauty, into the heaven on Earth I create for myself and those around me with every choice I make.

What will I choose?

When the monster wakes up again and it will! Can I stand tall, not letting a single thought slip through my awareness, a single thought ready to destroy the garden I create for myself and those around me?

Every moment of every hour is a new beginning. You did not lose, beautiful soul. We have got to tame the animal self. That's the game and I promise you it gets easier as long as you keep choosing the light...

Will you join me? 

with all my love,
Ezgi